Pond Life by Tom C and Kieran

Pond Life by Thomas C and Kieran N

Look at my sleek, black skin. I am just growing my two back legs and have already eaten a couple of my brothers and sisters (they’re extremely easy to digest!). Living in a pond, is actually quite fun, even though it might not sound like it. Don’t be concerned as I am definitely not from a horror movie as it is one of the most usual things to eat some of your siblings if you are a tadpole, just like the epic me!

THOSE STRANGE GIANTS!

These strange giants are very interested in me however I have no clue why. Today, for example they decided to be nosy and look at me in my great natural habitat and one of them started to rake through the algae which was above my head protecting me and my family from other strange creatures. They seem like aliens invading my fantastic home.

ALL ABOUT ME

At the moment, I am in the middle of metamorphosing (using the term that the giants use) into a dark green, jumping frog. In a way I will enjoy being a sleek frog but then again life as a tadpole is pretty cool! I will soon be leaving the dark, gloomy pond, in which I live with lots of zooming scaly fish minding their very interesting business.

FOOD I CAN EAT

I am an omnivore since I eat my siblings and lots of lovely vegtabales! If kept in a tank, the things I eat are delicious things such as: peas which need to be crushed slightly with the outer skin removed, lettuce(which is a producer), spinach or specially formulated food for me. Obviously when in a pond I need to eat what is available there. Quite understandably, because of all the unbelievably interesting greens I eat, I am amazingly healthy! Occasionally, people will feed me things which my body cannot digest as I have a specially designed digestive system.

To sum up, life as a sleek, black tadpole is quite enjoyable as a consequence of the fact that my life in the pond is sensational, even when I eat my siblings!

Miss France: Entertaining work! You really took on the role of the tadpole well and I enjoyed how you used empty nouns so that you didn’t give away who you were at the very start of the text.  Go back and add some technical v linked to our food chains work eg producer/carnivore/predator, expanding and adding detail.

Lucy: After ‘Obviously’ you have forgotten to put a comma after this ‘ly start!