Ollie and Lola write up about Winston the Dog
A few years ago I was alone and discarded. I saw a hot, flaming chip on a piece of paper. Suddenly I saw a stranger who rubbed my head so the stranger adopted me. Suddenly a car came up to me and I woke up in the strangers house. I loved the dog food but a couple days later I was attached attracted to humans food. Some days after that, I was loved by both humans but the next night we went to a restaurant and my owner gave me a delicious breakfast.
A few days later I was happy because we were going to a fancy dinner but I got a shock when my owner started to ignore me and gave me green, healthy stuff.
I am pleased that you used some of the new vocabulary and tried out words from our plan. You used some FANBOYS to link clauses.
Even better if you go back and add the missing CL from the sentence start and check that you meant the word 'attached.' Red pen edit.
Well done- I can tell you enjoyed writing this.
No comments:
Post a Comment